That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
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