what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Randomize
