the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Randomize
