I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I love you.
Bad choice
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
