i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
