he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
