Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
