are you still at the devil's house?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
This toilet bowl is my home.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
