I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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