Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
