I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
