I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
