U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
