he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
