I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
