he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
