Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
