took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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