Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Randomize
