try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
