At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
