This girl is more easily done than said...
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
