Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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