Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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