I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
