I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
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