I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
