i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
