I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
