Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Randomize
