Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
