i just had sex bonerless
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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