I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Randomize
