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I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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