I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
