She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
