u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
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