This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
