HIV tests are more positive than that guy
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
