This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
