you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
