Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
