you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
