Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
