We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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