There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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