Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
nutella sex= disaster
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
