my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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