called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
vagina is talking i cant
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
