so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
