Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
